How do you talk to teenagers about the death of a friend?

So my daughter is 12 and in the 6th grade in the junior high.  Last weekend, there was a terrible car accident that killed four people, a 13 year old boy, 12 year old girl, their grandmother and the 17 year old that was driving the other car.  While my daughter knew who the girl was, she really didn't know her but she is having a hard time wrapping her mind around a kid at her school dying so young and tragic.  Any ideas to help her figure things out?

I've been there too many times in my own lifetime. Let your daugher know you are there, but don't push the issue. This is the time to be a friend and not just a parent. Many kids around her age and through their teen years and beyond have different coping methods and sometimes prefer to talk about it with their peers, and they generally develop a support group without even realizing it most of the time.  Honestly sometimes you can never wrap your mind around situations like that, just make sure she knows you're there and be aware inconspicuoulsy of how she is coping. If you notice she isn't coping well, be a friend to her.

She doesn't need a lecture about safe driving, this is something that already tragically hit her.  However you can gently and I mean very gently talk to her about how to use events to learn from. Not just the accident, but all events. This sometimes helps and prevents future anxiety issues. Things such as not driving in severe rainstorms, heavy snow, on ice, avoiding drinking and driving, and being aware of the condition and frame of mind of people she gets in the car with.

Hope this helps and my condolences to your daughter, families, and friends.