20 year old niece is expecting-advice?

Asked by MissMouthy {130}
http://MissMouthy.com
4/10/2010 6:50:47 PM

I just found out my 20 year old, unmarried niece is expecting. I really struggled to conceive and I know lots of women who would love to adopt. She is certain she wants to keep the baby, but I don't think that's the best choice for her. What advice do you have? For me? For her?

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Raising teenagers -- and living to tell about it!

Answered by jkpina16 {154}
4/10/2010 7:41:02 PM

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I went through this with my niece, only she was 15 at the time. I thought she was making the wrong choice in keeping her baby since there are many out there that would love to adopt. But what I found was that she needed someone to be there for her. My sister (her mom) was so upset she didn't know what to do and all of a sudden my niece had noone where to turn, feeling like the world was against her. SO I had to be the one to be there for her emotionally and physically. I just told her that I would always be there for her and I would support whatever decision she made. She already knew she wanted to keep the baby, so there was no reason talking till I was blue in the face about the benefits of adoption. SO I guess my final answer is love and support. that is the best advice I could give you!

I struggled to get pregnant, too. We considered adoption and surragacy. After 3 miscarriages and 8 years of trying, we finally got our miracle baby!That being said, my advice to you is that it is not yopur place to make this decision for your niece. The fact of the matter is she is a grown up, and if she wants to have this baby and keep it, that is her choice. You can offer her you love and support, or decided you want nothing to do with her and the baby. I think that latter would be a huge mistake for you! ;)A baby is NEVER bad news A baby is always a reason to celebrate and rejoice. Be happy for your niece! - Dessylyn Arnold 11/13/2011 3:50:55 PM | Flag

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Answered by Dessylyn Arnold {15}
11/13/2011 3:52:29 PM

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	Comments from Facebook
		Jennifer Bassett I know this is hard for you, but if she wants to keep her baby and raise it too that is her decision. She is an adult and can make her own decisions now. You have to stay out of choices that are not yours to make. Sorry so blunt, but that is the long and the short of it. Hope you can understand where she is coming from soon so it isn`t so hard on you. Good luck! Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Marcella Pinto Why do you need advice? Shes 20 & your NIECE. Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Marcella Pinto Since when do you have to be married to be a mother? Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Jackie Hassan I understand that you may feel you have a right to an opinion here but truth is you don`t she is not a child and has to do what is best for her and her baby. I hope the very best for her and for you as you come to terms with your nieces decision. The only advice that I can offer is be there to support and help her when she needs it thats what a family should do. Are you really worried about her being a Mom or are you just upset and envious that she easily became pregnant and you had to struggl Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Jacqueline Nelson to mind your own business Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Kelli Rosignolo Mind ur own fucking business its her life not urs stop dwelling on the fact that she is having a baby and it took u forever its not ur life and sir to say adoption screw u. If u were my aunt I`d kick u outta my life and the babies. That`s not what family does either grow up and live ur life and not hers. Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Megan Milchman You really have no say in this matter. She is an adult and the choice is hers. So what if she isn`t married, you don`t have to be to be a good mom. Really you shouldn`t have any say you are her aunt not her parent. Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Katrina Harrison This is her decision and you need to let her make the decision that is best for her. I understand your concern, but let her make this decision by herself. Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Erin Bradley its not your choice. Celebrate this new life, and let her know that your there for support; not judgement Sunday, November 13, 2011

		Eliza Marks I definitely think it is the role of loving family to give advice when worried about a decision someone who is younger and much less experienced is making. It is unfortunate that young people today refuse to listen to the older people in their lives. It could save so many mistakes and heartbreaks. that being said, just let her know your concerns, but emphasize strongly how much you love her and support whatever decision she makes. And to the above responders, be kind when responding to strang Sunday, November 13, 2011