What's an appropriate bed time for an 11-year-old?

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I agree that kids need their sleep, but I'm sure some may need more than others to be productive the next day.

Is your daughter tired the following day if she goes to bed at 8:30? 9:00? If she goes to bed at 9:00 and it doesn't seen to effect her mood, I would say it's ok to change her bed time.

It's strange because she is ALWAYS tired in the mornings when it's a school day. On weekends, however, it's a completely different story. She can and does routinely get up at the crack of dawn to watch cartoons or play Nintendo. It's almost like selective tiredness. - ADMINTODD 1/20/2010 8:56:36 PM | Flag

If she's really tired and moody before dinner time, I would keep her bed time early. It sounds like she needs her sleep. I wouldn't reward her for being slow in the morning before school. I think that sends the wrong message to her. I hope that helps! - HeavenlyMommy 1/20/2010 9:04:30 PM | Flag

She went to bed pretty early last night but still got up tired. I wonder if something else is going on? - ADMINTODD 1/22/2010 3:14:46 PM | Flag

She sounds like she might dislike school. Has she always been this tired on school mornings in previous school years? Is this just this year, or just recently? Could there be something bothering her about school, or a student...or even the teacher? - MomOfFive 2/1/2010 9:04:19 PM | Flag

I agree with MomOfFive. - HeavenlyMommy 2/2/2010 11:16:37 AM | Flag

I also agree with MomOfFive - paulene 2/5/2010 4:34:11 PM | Flag

I agree with Momoffive. Perhaps you could tell her you are considering extending her bedtime but her morning crankiness concerns you and you would like to know if there is any reason other than tiredness to explain it. You could end up with an answer or perhaps an attemt at changing bad behavior! - lynnm 3/1/2010 4:51:17 PM | Flag

My 11 year old goes to bed at 9:00 during the week, and 10:00 on the weekends. During the summer, when we all like to sleep in (I work from home, I like that extra time in the AM), it's 10:30. It's been that way with all of them. - babs6219 3/1/2010 8:48:33 PM | Flag

I agree with lynnm, I notice that if I tell my 12 yo daughter that I will consider letting her do something (like staying up late) she has to wake up on time, get herself ready for school and get out the door ontime or else the next night her bedtime will go back to the same or even earlier, she always gets right up the next morning. A little coaxing never hurt a child! - JBest 3/16/2010 10:42:24 PM | Flag

I agree with Lynnm too. - Priya510in 4/1/2010 11:18:29 PM | Flag

There are several things to consider when setting bed time rules. The first is the level of maturity of the child. Age is not always a good indicator of maturity and responsibility, as each child independent of age will differ greatly in their level of maturity. The second question to consider is, does his school work and home life warrant this privilege? Can your child maintain a good grade average and home life with a later bed time? Every child will opt for a later bed time and will make promises to affect the desired activity. Therefore, it would be best to make your determination on your child's current level of understanding toward his or her school and home responsibilities. - walkinturtle 4/12/2010 1:32:32 AM | Flag

Answered by countrymomtobe {117}
3/1/2010 4:59:19 PM

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From birth to middle school my bedtime was always at 9:00. Once I reached middle school my parents decided to extend my bedtime by 30 minutes, the next year of middle school extended again, and each school year from them on my bedtime would extend. Though this meant that I eventually had a bedtime of early in the morning, the accompanying rule was that if I missed school for oversleeping or did not get up on time, I had to go to bed at 9pm the following night, in addition to being grounded from other activities.

I like this reasoning very much. Good system. - momhas2js 3/10/2010 5:51:37 PM | Flag

This is a fair way to do it, while ensuring the child has both freedom and the rest that they need. - ErinS 4/1/2010 10:33:18 AM | Flag

I like this system especially since it holds the child accountable for waking up and consequences for not doing so. - ShanaJ 4/13/2010 5:56:09 AM | Flag

Answered by mecheshier {121}
3/1/2010 8:18:07 PM

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Eleven can be a difficult age. We all know that sleep is very important for health, academics, learning, and emotional well being. On school nights I would say no later than 9 pm. On the week-end I would allow for later hours. I always put my child to bed by 8 pm when she was young, at an older age (pre-teen) it was later. They are older and you want to encourage responsibility. If you find that 9 pm cause problems then switch it back and state the reasons why.

Answered by maryowens1974 {81}
3/6/2010 10:51:15 PM

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My suggestion is allow her an extra 1/2 hr, but tell her that the first time she gives you problems about getting up in the morning then she has to go back to her old bed time. That was what I did with my girls and it works fine. Heck, both of them turn in on their own usually before 9:30 and they are 13 & 14 now.

Our younger two go to bed @ 7:30 (7 yr old) and 8:30 (9 yr old). Sometimes the 7 yo will fall asleep on the couch before 7:30 and if he does, we push up his bedtime to 7:00 the next day.

Answered by buzymom13 {103}
3/21/2010 2:30:52 PM

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My 10 yr old is fussing about wanting her bedtime moved to 10pm. The teens of the house go to bed at 10pm. It think it depends on how the child handles sleep. My daughter needs her sleep and that is why her bedtime is remaining at 9:30. I have another daughter who goes to bed at 9:30 and is up with the sun. I think that when she gets a bit older moving her bedtime to 10pm would not have the same effect on her as it would on her older sibling. My one teen cannot function unless she gets her 8 hrs of sleep per night. She puts herself to bed early when she's feeling tired from a long day. I would try the 1/2 hr longer and see how it goes. Each child is different. As long as they don't have a problem getting up in the morning or keeping alert during school, it's not an issue.

Answered by momtastic3 {116}
3/23/2010 12:51:37 AM

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Appropriate bedtimes can vary so much. In our house we do not have the same bedtime for every night. It depends on when school starts the next day, what days are sports practice days, and the level of work at school.

When there are more challenging school projects or events happening, the bed times are earlier. When there is less going on, the bed times can be later. This holds true for all our kids, regardless of age.

And yes, I agree with the other Moms, when morning crankiness happens, the bed time is adjusted.

Answered by kristi96 {103}
3/24/2010 3:04:23 AM

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My son is 12 and on a school night he goes to bed between 930pm and 10pm. On the weeks the bedtime is a lot more flexible. Sometimes its as early as 10 and sometimes as late as midnight.

Answered by lifeloving {165}
3/31/2010 9:49:51 PM

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I remember my bedtime was 9:30 by 3rd grade and 10 by 6th grade. By high school it was whenever I wanted, as long as my grades stayed up and I went to school each day.

Answered by ErinS {385}
http://www.possumpoet.com
4/1/2010 10:32:14 AM

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They need at least seven to eight hours a night, and I would set it at the latest at 9:00 p.m. This can vary, depending on what time you get up in the morning. Having a regular schedule will help them to get up easier as well.

Answered by georgiagin {246}
4/1/2010 12:42:12 PM

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You're not going to believe this, but my son is 11 and has an 8:00 bedtime during the week...and he needs it! He can't stay up much later than that during the week or he's falling asleep in his tracks. You might try raising it some on the weekends for her as a compromise or even try the extra half an hour during summer vacation.

Answered by thepurplehairednanny {216}
4/3/2010 8:19:22 PM

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When I was about this age, my parents stopped giving me a bedtime. I had to go in my room and be quiet, so the house could quiet down. But, I was responsible for my own hours. That worked pretty well for me.

If she is very responsible, let her start learning how to keep her own hours.