Military families.

Has anyone had to deal with a deployment? What did you do to get through the hard times?

Rob and I have been married for 5 years, 2 1/2 of those years have been spend with deployments. Like everything in life you have to look at the positive side and look forward the future. With deployments coming every 12 to 18 months, a relationship doesn’t have a chance to get stagnant. You are continually counting down to either the next deployment or when they get to come home again. You are forced to live in the moment because you never know when something is going to change. It’s easy to lose yourself in all the waiting and unknown. Trying to plan for a future that is never known is like trying to hit a swinging twisting bull eye. You definitely can be afraid of change.

The number one thing not to do is blame them for leaving you or begging them to stay. It is out of their control. I have see wives beg, plead and cry at the feet of departing soldiers. Yes, it is heart breaking and you don’t want them to go but you must maintain strength for yourself and more so for the soldier.

In this day and age, communication with a deployed spouse or family member has so many possibilities: phone calls, web cams, emails and instant messages. Honesty and great communication are key factors!

It’s important to remember that as hard as it is on you, it’s even harder on the service member. They have been pulled from the comfort and safety of their home and all those that he loves most. You at least get to stay home. In order to do their military duty they have to compartmentalize their life. When this happens, it can make you feel left out or not loved. But it’s their only way of coping the polarizing feels of duty and family. Being patient and understand to a point. Give them time then nicely remind them that it’s hard on you as well and that you need their support as much as they need yours.

With love, support and communication ANYTHING is possible!!!

“Real love is a long marination of qualities having to do with respect, admiration, appreciation, character, affection, cooperation, honor and sacrifice

Good luck, stay strong, and have faith!